Miscellaneous Thoughts

1.  Not everyone on our faculty is paid what they're worth. But there are minimum wage laws.

2.  Legal education is like the blind leading the blind . . . except without the guide dogs and canes.

3.  I feed my dog socratically; I give him the bowl and tell him to assume it contains food.

4.  I think Socrates took the hemlock so he wouldn't have to stick around to see what law professors did to his method.

5.  Some law professors are pompous, conceited windbags.  We call them the humble ones.

6.  I wish GE would donate some money to our law school so I could be the Electric Chair of Law.

7.  Congress is considering stepping in to solve the BCS college bowl mess.  That's like Rube Goldberg stepping in to build a simpler mousetrap.

8.  The term "law school" comes from the German "lager," meaning beer and the Scandinavian "Sckok," meaning snack.  Literally, beer and snacks.

9.  I worked for Eveready, but they fired me for hitting a co-worker.  They charged me with battery.

10.  When law schools lose their faculties, they have to be institutionalized.

11.  Faculty rank at law schools is based in part on seniority.  I have been teaching for over 20 years, so I'm pretty rank.

12.  Do any law professors use the Platonic method?

13.  Do you have to make a double jeopardy argument in the form of two questions?

14.  Is it lawful to shout "crowded theater" during a fire?

15. Are juries that can't reach a decision for a very, very long time well-hung?

16. A client of mine stole a bunch of stuff from a Starbucks warehouse.  The police searched his home, but couldn't find sufficient grounds to arrest him.

17. I tried to measure the depth of the ocean, but the answer was unfathomable.

18.  Napoleon lost because in every republic, a little reign must fall.

19.  Shouldn't Popeye's serve spinach?

20.  I tried internet dating, but I only met Amazons who thought I was a yahoo.