Professor Bradford:

The University Years

High school diploma in hand (That's not really where they put it, but let's not get into that.), Professor Bradford decided to seek a university education. He wandered to Utah, where the people at Utah State University, feeling sorry for him, let him sleep on the porch of the student union. Four years later, the University changed administrations. The new President, wishing to rid himself of Bradford once and for all, decided that the easiest way to get rid of him was to award him a diploma. They did, in 1978, in the only field they could think of where one did not have to possess any useful knowledge--Political Science. Professor Bradford graduated summa cum laude, which means, roughly translated, full of himself.